Refuse to Dance
by Yugure
Summary: An invitation causes much turmoil. Angst enough to make your blood curdle. LZ
1. Part 1

Title: Refuse to Dance

Author: Yugure

Rated: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: If you think Slayers et al belongs to me... you need professional help...

Part 1

Lina savagely tore up the vanilla scented envelope and the letter within, her eyes dark and focused intently on the small massacre in her hands. Having completed her task, she threw the remains into the roaring fire on the hearth.

"What was that?" Gourry asked, entering the room with two large flagons of cider. He handed one to Lina and sat down on the settee, a look of puzzlement on his face.

"Nothing," Lina growled in reply, flopping down next to her bodyguard with a surly scowl. She took a large gulp of cider and kicked Gourry's feet out of the place she wished to put her own. "Just a little piece of Hell incarnate."

"Really?!" Gourry paused while raising his drink to his mouth. His blue eyes opened wide. With his free hand, he scratched his chin. "I didn't know Hell could carnate..."

"It was just an expression, Gourry!" Lina nearly shouted, exasperated. The offending letter had exponentially reduced her patience tolerance, and now just about anything could set her off.

"Oh." The two comrades lapsed into silence; Gourry, because he couldn't think of anything intelligent to say, and Lina because she was pissed off at everything in the world.

Outside, a winter storm settled in around the small but cozy mountain cabin. Night had fallen hours ago. A fierce wind drove snow and hail against the windows, drilling a repetitious pattern. The cabin was in excellent condition, and Lina and Gourry were very lucky to have gotten it for such a cheap price. Of course, what with Lina's haggling skills involving Fireballs, it wasn't so surprising...

The group had split many months ago. Lina and Gourry continued to travel together, for reasons never very clear to either of them. Amelia had returned to duties at home. And Zelgadis... surprisingly, he had not set out on a solitary search for his cure. He had settled down in Saillune.

Lina wasn't sure why, but that had pissed her off more than anything. In fact, it was one of the reasons she had dragged herself and Gourry onto another adventure. Ever since then, Lina had been in a foul mood. Gourry was smart enough (go figure) to know that he shouldn't question why. He simply allowed his ward to roam all over the land, occasionally stopping her before she walked off a cliff or into danger. "Occasionally" being the operant word. After all, even Gourry got sick of Lina's constant whining...

So now here they were, in the cabin rented out to them for the next week. Gourry pulled his feet up and snuggled down into the corner of the couch, his fuzzy blue slippers protruding over the edge. He peeked over his knees and flagon to see if Lina had simmered down at all.

She had not.

Lina looked like a ferocious, malevolent angel. She herself had pulled her knees up to her chest and snuggled into the opposite corner. She kept her eyes glued to the fire, the flames and sparks dancing in her ruby eyes like magic. Shadows leapt and cascaded in her hair, giving it an ethereal quality. The scowl on her face deepened, if that was even possible, and Gourry felt sorry for whatever or whoever such raw, unadulterated anger was directed at.

"Was it from Sylphiel or Filia?" Gourry hazarded a guess. He was rewarded by the absence of a Fireball.

"No," was the sullen reply.

"Xelloss?" Gourry knew he was pressing his luck, but even the most gentle of hearts can be a bit masochistic.

"No," came the sullen reply once again, this time with a little more vehemence.

"Amelia or Zelgadis?"

"..." Bingo.

"What did they have to say?"

"Nothing important. Nothing that matters. Nothing, nothing, nothing," Lina chanted. She drained the last of her cider and slammed her flagon onto the small table beside her.

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Gourry, why now, of all times, do you choose to be perceptive?!" Lina demanded, swiveling her head towards the swordsman in a rather disturbing way that reminded him of a snake.

"I don't know."

"It was an invitation. Do you know what kind of invitation it might be?"

Gourry paled. He recognized the tone of voice Lina was currently speaking in. It was the one that no matter what he said, he was going to be wrong, and because he was wrong, he would be punished.

"Uh... birthday party?"

"No. Guess again."

"Anniversary party?"

"Getting closer. Guess again." By now, Lina was really scaring Gourry. Wishing he was armed with the Sword of Light and not his fuzzy slippers, Gourry guessed again.

"Ummmm.... Would it, by any chance, be a wedding invitation?"

"BINGO! And do you know WHO'S wedding it would be an invitation to?"

"... Amelia..." Gourry paused, cringing from the predator-like stare Lina was fixing him with. "And... Zelgadis?"

"YES!" A nearby wood chair burst into flames. "You're so smart today, Gourry. I bet you even know what the invitation wanted us to do!"

"Go to the wedding?"

"YES!!!" A crystal chandelier exploded above the dining table, showering the floor with tiny shards.

"Well, shouldn't we go?" At the murderous look on the petite sorceress's face, Gourry threw a pillow in front of his face and hid behind the soft plush. "I mean, they're our friends. Don't they deserve the very best?"

"We can't go."

"Why not? I don't understand why not."

"You don't understand much."

"Lina, please. Tell me what's wrong. Does it have to do with Zelgadis? Why can't we go?" Gourry dropped the pillow.

"Because." To Gourry's surprise, all the tension ran out of Lina's body like falling rain. Her fiery composure diffused to a dull roar. Her voice softened, barely heard above the vicious storm outside. "Because.... I love that cold-hearted, stubborn son of a bitch."


	2. Part 2

Title: Refuse to Dance

Author: Yugure

Rated: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: If you think Slayers et al belongs to me... you need professional help...

Author's Notes: I'd like to apologize for casting Zelgadis as such a complete a$$hole. He's extremely cruel in this story. I didn't realize it until I was about halfway through his dialogue, and by that time, the story had pretty much written itself. Forgive the slanderous characterizations.

Part 2

The trip to Saillune was, to put it succinctly, not very enjoyable. Lina was a continuous emotional roller coaster ride of ravenous rage and muted depression. Gourry could never tell what would set her off down one path or the other. He only knew that somehow, someway, he had to get Lina to Saillune and into Zelgadis's presence.

Upon their entry to the white magic capital of the world, Lina and Gourry were accosted by the number of posters and announcements proclaiming the upcoming royal wedding. It was all Gourry could do to keep Lina from flying off into the abysmal depths of despair.

At the castle, the travelers were greeted warmly. Amelia looked happier than she ever had. Lina noticed, with quiet alarm, that the Saillune princess really had matured since their last departure. Amelia carried the weight of her country on her shoulders with great dignity. It was amazing to think that this competent ruler was once a whiny little do-gooder.

"Where's Zelgadis?" Gourry asked, ignoring the sharp stab of Lina's elbow into his ribs. Amelia didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, I don't know. Ever since the public declaration, he's been hiding anywhere he can get some peace. Maybe he's in the library. I don't mind, though, because it's hard to plan a wedding with him around. He just doesn't contribute anything useful!" Amelia rambled on.

After a short snack break (which was short in time but not in supply), Lina and Gourry were led to their temporary guest rooms. Lina was used to the grandiose palace decorating schemes, and thus wasn't too shocked by her room. The magnificent cherrywood canopy bed, wine-colored drapes and sheets and pillows, and matching accent accessories in ivory suited Lina's tastes just fine.

A summons came shortly after. Lina followed the maid to another grand bedchamber, where Zelgadis sat reading a book. Upon her entry, Zelgadis set the leather-bound book down and stood up.

He was even more handsome than what she remembered. Oftentimes, memories are reshaped and redrawn to capture every positive aspect of an individual and to leave out everything negative. But with Zelgadis... Lina's memories were dim in comparison. Not to mention his newly-found and much-sought-after human colored pale skin and silky black hair. His sapphire eyes were the same as always – piercing and unnerving. Lina gasped and stepped back, running into the door that the maid had closed behind her.

"You... you're..."

"Human again. Yes, I know. Really, Lina, you should have kept up correspondence. For one, you would have known I found my cure several months ago. For another, I miss your letters."

"But... you're..." Lina couldn't help but stammer. Where the hell had this cocky attitude come from!? Zelgadis simply smiled and allowed his friend to regain her composure. "How? Where? Tell me what it was! Tell me everything!" Lina's curiosity finally took over, driving her forward a few steps until she stood nearly nose-to-nose with the former chimera... er, nose-to-chest. "I don't remember you being this tall..." She looked up.

"Maybe you've just shrunk."

"Shut up." Lina began to walk a circle around Zelgadis, inspecting him from head to toe. As far as she could tell, under the admittedly sexy set of clothes he was wearing, Zelgadis was once again completely human. "Tell me everything!"

"Maybe later. I think we have more important matters to discuss."

Lina stopped abruptly. A scowl set on her face and she backed away from Zelgadis. The mood in the room seemed to visibly darken.

"Yeah. I guess so." Lina felt her mind go numb. No way, no way in all of Hades was she going to tell Zelgadis what she was really feeling. Lina had spent the entire trip to Saillune coaching herself to stand against the barrage of emotions that would accompany her during her visit with Zelgadis. She promised herself that under no circumstances was she allowed to show any sort of feeling in regards to her relationship with him. Lina had decided that the marriage was none of her business, and if it made her friends happy, she had no right to take that away from them.

"It's not what you think," Zelgadis continued, blithely unaware of the turmoil in Lina's mind.

"What do you mean? You and Amelia are getting hitched. What's there to misinterpret with that?" Lina mentally scolded herself for the sliver of ice she entered into her words.

"Yes, that is what the letter said, isn't it?" Zelgadis settled back in his chair. Lina followed suit by seating herself across from him. "I don't want to marry Amelia. This isn't exactly the way I pictured spending my future."

"What?" Dumbfounded, Lina leaned forward in her seat. "If you don't want to marry her, then why ARE you?!"

"You don't get it, do you, Lina?" Zelgadis kept his eyes on Lina's face, gauging her reactions to what he said. "I've been offered everything I've ever wanted. When I decided to stay in Saillune, when we split ways, it was assumed that I stayed for Amelia's sake. Prince Phil deemed it necessary that if I was to consort with his daughter, I should at least have my greatest wish granted. Top-notch sorcerers, highly skilled white magic users, and elemental mages from across the land were invited in to see if they could cure me. I don't know how Phil managed to fund this worldwide search, but the fact of the matter is that he did. I won't go into details about how I was cured. It was a long and painful process that I'd rather not dwell upon right now." A shadow crossed Zelgadis's face, and for a moment, Lina saw a flash of recalled fear in his eyes. "Look at what's been offered to me: a place in the royal family, a country to eventually rule alongside Amelia, riches beyond even your wildest dreams, a chance to raise my own family. You can't imagine how much I've longed for this day to come."

"You never cared about any of that stuff..." Lina whispered. Her throat and eyes felt funny. She coughed discreetly.

"Really, Lina? You really think you know me that well? All my life I've spent looking for one cure. I've never had a chance for anything else, and now I have it all. Why wouldn't I jump at this?"

"Because you're above that. Money means nothing to you. If you were marrying Amelia because you loved her, I could understand that, but not... not because you want status and power." Lina shivered despite the heat radiating from the fire on the hearth. Zelgadis barked with laughter. His blue eyes turned icy, as though they still belonged to a chimera.

"You're such a hypocrite! That's all you are: wealth, power, and gluttony. Don't even try to pretend you've never thought of marrying rich and milking it to your needs."

"Who are you, and what have you done with the Zelgadis I knew?" Lina replied, unable to resist asking the clichéd question. The person in front of her wasn't like the Zelgadis she loved. Well... maybe, in a way... but the Zelgadis she knew wasn't so... ruthlessly self-interested.

Lina's mind tumbled to a halt. Maybe she was looking at this all the wrong way. Wasn't he always this self-obsessed? Always running of to find his own cure, only caring out his own hide, shutting out any and all affection directed at him.

"What do you mean? I'm always me. Just because you don't like the way I think doesn't make me someone different," Zelgadis replied, his voice caustic. Lina could tell the implication of her question had bothered her friend.

"What's happened to you? You're not anything like what I remembered," Lina queried.

"Maybe your memory isn't as good as you think it is. I don't see why you're so upset about this. You and I are a lot alike, Lina. We're both opportunists. We see an opening and we take it. We don't dilly-dally about the subject with false moral obligations. If you were in my position, I haven't the slightest doubt you'd do the same. Where are you ever going to get in your life, Lina? Will you forever be a nomad, roaming the world and taking what you will? You want power just like I do." Zelgadis leaned forward in his seat, as thought attempting to drive the words in farther. Lina sat up abruptly.  
"You wanted power when you were young, didn't you?" At the confused look on Zelgadis's face, Lina continued. "Strength, power, same difference, and look where it got you. A chimera-FREAK for years and years, a social reject with no emotions. You're doing it to yourself again! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time?"

Lina was a little sorry at using the word "freak." She had never called Zelgadis that before and had always prided herself on looking past his odd countenance. She knew the barb had stung deeply. Zelgadis looked like a wounded puppy for a moment, but eventually it faded into disappointment.

"Maybe, but I've learned to not make the same mistakes. I still want power, I still want to be strong. I just know better than to trust blind priests," Zelgadis retorted.

"If that was supposed to be a joke, it's not funny," Lina snapped contemptuously. She loved his man? This decidedly cruel, manipulative jerk? Sure, he wasn't the best, most warm-and-fuzzy person in the world when he was a chimera, but never had he made such blatantly malicious stratagems to bend the world to his will. Lina felt her heart breaking. After all this time of stupid unrequited love, her "soulmate" turned out to be mortal scum. Tears came unbidden to her eyes. Zelgadis noticed and gave pause.

"Lina, what's the matter?"

"And you're going to marry Amelia?!" Lina blurted, ignoring Zelgadis's question. "That sweet and innocent girl who loves you more than life itself? Who gave you everything and never expected anything back? You're going to use her to propel yourself into the world of social hierarchies?"

"That was the plan," Zelgadis mumbled, as though almost an aside to himself. Lina, not expecting this confession, rocketed to her feet.

"You snotty no-good rotten scum son of a bitch bastard!" Lina barked. Zelgadis's pretty eyes widened in surprise.

"What the...?"

"Zelgadis Graywords, may you rot in stinking hell to the end of eternity!"

"Isn't such damnation a bit heavy-handed, Lina?" Zelgadis got to his feet.

"Not at all for some vile thing like you! I can't believe you!" Lina stalked toward the bedroom doors, intending to leave. "I can't wait to tell Amelia all about this!"

"Will she believe you?" The soft voice made Lina pause with her hand on the door. "Even if she did, could you really bring yourself to tell her and spoil all her perfect plans?"

"You're sick. I don't know what happened to the Zelgadis I lo-"Lina stopped short and just barely managed to keep herself from banging her head on the door. He was right, of course. How could she even broach such a topic with the gentle Amelia? No way, no how. And she almost confessed right there that she had, at one point, loved him!

"What was that? I can't hear what you're saying, you're mumbling into the door," Zelgadis replied.

"Nothing," Lina snapped. She opened the door. It closed just as quickly, as Zelgadis now stood directly behind her with his hand firmly on the door. Lina didn't dare turn around. She felt her insides go into convulsions simply at being near him. The unfamiliar warmth radiated off Zelgadis like a small sun.

"I was wrong about what I said. I've only been offered almost everything I've ever wanted," Zelgadis said, his voice low, his warm breath ruffling a few loose strands of Lina's hair.

"Oh really?" was all Lina could manage to utter.

"If I asked you to stay with me, would you?"

Lina carefully turned around. She had to tilt her head up to get a good look at Zelgadis's face. Months, days, hours ago she would have said yes. After hearing the painful confessions of only moments before, however, she just couldn't... could she?

"No," she said doggedly. The expression on Zelgadis's face was unreadable. Lina quickly turned away, opened the door, and stepped out. Just as she closed the door behind her, she heard Zelgadis speak.

"Lina Inverse... I love you."


	3. Part 3

**Title:** Refuse to Dance

**Author:** Yugure

**Rated:** PG-13 for language

**Disclaimer:** If you think Slayers et al belongs to me... you need professional help...

**Author's Notes:** Err... I'm sorry, I didn't know the ending was going to be confusing like that. ;; Zelgadis wasn't exactly going soft at the end. He was asserting his power. He's been offered everything that he wants EXCEPT Lina. He tells Lina that he loves her because he wants to finish his "collection" of power and status. It's like thinking of Lina as a possession, not a person. He desires her, but he also desires all that wealth and power. I hope that makes a little more sense.

Part 3

Lina threw a pebble into the fountain and watched as it sank to the bottom, mingling with other waterlogged debris. The soothing sound of the waterfall helped a little to calm her jangled nerves, but she couldn't shake the oppressing feeling that everything had gone to hell in a hand-basket.

"What's the matter, Lina?" a soft voice interrupted Lina's dark musings. Lina looked up to find Sylphiel bent over her, a worried expression on her face.

"Nothing," Lina lied, turning back to watch the waterfall in the fountain.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Please, Lina, I want to help you," Sylphiel sat down next to Lina and took the sorceress's hands into her own. Her innocent eyes were nearly too much for Lina to take. _She wouldn't know what to do anymore than you do, _prodded a voice in Lina's head. _Look at her. It would probably send her into convulsions at the sheer twistedness of it._

"It's about Zelgadis," Lina blurted, just to spite the voice.

"Oh, is that all?" Sylphiel looked relieved. "Well, I know he's not around very often, and he's always hiding, and it's not very proper because his wedding is just a few days away, but Zelgadis always has his own way of doing things..."

"No, that's not it," Lina ground out, just barely keeping the irritation out of her voice. "It's about him and me..."

"Oh! Miss Lina, goodness gracious!" Sylphiel's eyes widened in shock. "You don't mean to tell me that you have feelings for him, do you!? Oh, what terrible timing!"

"NO! That's not it! I don't love him!" Lina yelled. "I mean... I do, but I don't... well, I did... but... ARGH!!!" Lina buried her face in her hands.

"There, there, Lina," Sylphiel awkwardly patted the small girl's back. "I know how terrible it feels to suffer from unrequited love, but-"

"You just don't get it," Lina mumbled. "He's marrying Amelia because she can give him wealth and power and status and a family – not because he loves her! He loves me, he said so, I heard him say it, and yesterday I would have felt elated but now I feel terrible and I don't think I love him anymore!"

After a long pause, Sylphiel finally spoke up.

"But Zelgadis does love Amelia, Lina. I don't know if this is some sort of ploy to break them up, or if you're just jealous, but what you say can't be true," she said quietly. Lina's head shot up, and she glared at Sylphiel.

"You're calling me a liar?!"

"A woman in love can be the most treacherous creature alive."

"Sylphiel!"

"I can tell you this much, Lina: I won't allow you to ruin what there is between Zelgadis and Amelia. You're my friend, and I love you as much as I love them, but I simply cannot condone such treason." Sylphiel stood up as if to leave.

"Can't you just consider that it MIGHT be a possibility?!"

"Everything will be okay, Lina." Sylphiel stooped to give the livid sorceress a tight hug. She departed with a small, sad smile.

Lina dropped her head back into her hands and allowed the tears to run across her palms.

The next few days were nightmarish. Lina walked around in a veritable daze, unable to contribute any help whatsoever. Zelgadis became more agitated as the days passed, snapping at anyone who spoke to him, even Amelia. Lina made sure she was never in a room alone with Zelgadis. Sylphiel acted as if nothing had transpired from their conversation beside the fountain. For that small favor, Lina was glad. She still wasn't sure how she should broach the subject with Amelia, or even if she should try at all. Most likely, Amelia would respond like Sylphiel did, or even worse.

Nobody seemed to notice how despondent Lina became. The internal chaos was driving her insane and she could barely walk in a straight line. If she told Amelia, and the wedding was cancelled, Lina could be with Zel... but did she want to be with a man who was going to marry a princess for the power that came with the union and not for love? If she didn't tell Amelia, she would be allowing this travesty to continue, and how could she NOT let Amelia know the truth? And... the most important question of all, the one that would ultimately decide everything... did Lina still love Zelgadis?

"Oi, Lina-chan, what's wrong? You look as though someone has died!" Xelloss's voice surprised Lina. She turned around to see the Trickster Priest leaning against the wall.

"What are you doing here? Did Amelia invite you?" Lina asked. The fire normally in her voice was nothing more than a glowing ember. Everything about her spoke lethargy.

"Well... yes... although I have the feeling it was more a formality than any real desire to see me again," Xelloss replied. He didn't seem the least bit upset at this fact. "Tell me why you look like I just ate your dog."

"It's about Zelgadis," Lina said. Her brain shook off the dust and started working overtime. Xelloss would believe her, wouldn't he? He always believed the worst about anybody. Surely he wouldn't be surprised.

"Oh? Yes?"

"And me."

"Is this going where I think it's going?"

"Probably not. Come with me, I want to tell you something." Lina led the floating Mazoku out the nearest door and down into the garden.

"If this is about your undying love for that chimera, let me stop you here," Xelloss remarked. "I'm well aware of it."

"No, it's not," Lina replied sullenly, resisting the urge to Fireball the annoying nuisance. "Although how you could know that is completely beyond me."

"So what, then, is consuming your every waking thought?"

Lina told him. She told him her feelings for Zelgadis. She told him about their conversation the other day. She told him about Sylphiel's reaction and disbelief. She talked until her throat was dry and her eyes were wet.

"How oddly twisted," Xelloss murmured to himself when Lina finished.

"Don't just stand there and look demented, Xelloss! Help me out here! What should I do?" Lina felt like smacking herself in the head, unable to believe she was asking Xelloss, of all people, to help.

"Don't worry, I know exactly what to do."

"You... do?" Lina, dumbfounded, cocked her head to the side. "You? Have a solution? Something that won't end in chaos and mass destruction?"

"Oh, you never said I had those limitations," Xelloss amended.

"Quit being difficult. Do you have an idea or not?"

"Yes, I do." Lina continued to stare at Xelloss suspiciously.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Are you going to tell me this plan?" Xelloss seemed to consider this for a moment.

"No, I don't think I will."

"ARGH! You're hopeless!"


	4. Part 4

**

* * *

Title:** Refuse to Dance

**Author:** Yugure

**Rated:** PG-13 for language

**Disclaimer:** If you think Slayers et al belongs to me... you need professional help...

**Author's Notes:** Um. Yeah. Zelgadis is very weird. oO;; Please excuse his OOC-ness. He's off his medication today.

Part 4

"Miss Lina, is it true?"

Lina only had to take one look at Amelia's sad face and know Xelloss had spoken with the princess.

Lina was in the library, listlessly picking up and discarding books, trying to put her mind to actually do something, but nothing held her interest for long. She was just tossing aside another novel when Amelia entered the room from the main doorway, her ballgown softly swishing against the marble floor. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

"Amelia, I'm so sorry, I know- "

"I didn't want it to be true, I couldn't believe-"

"- and I never expected it, either, and trust me, I'm appalled by it-"

"- he's a Mazoku, you can never trust them, so I just have to ask you-"

"- I'm sorry you had to find out about Zelgadis-"

"- Is it true you're accusing Zelgadis of marrying me for money?"

"What?!"

"What?"

There was a long silence in which the two women stared at each other. Amelia got her act together first.

"Xelloss said you were accusing my fiancée of marrying me for money and power and that he really loves you, not me. He said you even told Sylphiel, and I went to talk to her, and she wasn't happy to do it but she told me about your conversation with her-"

"Amelia, no, you've got it all wrong!" Lina fumed. Black hatred filled her mind for the loathsome beast she called Xelloss. He had obviously screwed Lina over instead of helping her. The next time she saw that rotten Mazoku she was going to rip his head off and dance in his blood...

"But Lina, even Sylphiel said so. Tell me, why are you saying these hateful things? I thought we were best friends!"

"No, Amelia... Please, listen to me..." Lina placed her hand on Amelia's arm. Amelia sniffled.

"Lina... I l-love Zel-elgadis w-with all my h-heart... Our wedding was g-going to b-be the ha-happiest d-day of my life..." Amelia stuttered, her chest heaving, the tears falling free.

"I know. I know, and I'm so sorry to have to do this to you. But... I have to tell you the truth. You deserve the truth. I'm sorry I didn't come to you right away."

Lina told the story, again, with as much detail as she could remember. She told her exactly what she told Xelloss, and included her conversation with the Mazoku. She did the best she could to be gentle about it, but Lina was extremely awkward at being gentle.

When it was finished Amelia sat down in one of the library's chairs. Her face was deadened and withdrawn.

"I can't believe it," she whispered. Lina awkwardly shifted on her feet.

"I couldn't either, but... well... I won't lie to you, Amelia. That's how it happened."

Amelia said nothing. She reached for a bell rope that connected to the service hall and summoned a maid.

"Please bring Master Zelgadis here," Amelia told the main when she arrived. The girl curtsied and left. Lina froze.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Amelia smiled woodenly at her.

"I can't just take your word for it, Lina, I need to hear it from Zelgadis too..."

* * *

They didn't have to wait long. Zelgadis appeared shortly, looking slightly bedraggled but in extremely good humor. His face was beaded with sweat and his soft hair was pulled back in a short ponytail. His body was bedecked with a royal blue shirt and matching loose pants. He bowed low to the women.

"And to what do I owe the honor of your summons, ladies?" he said, his voice low and silky smooth. He stood straight and smiled. "You do realize you took me straight out of fencing practice and I lost a good deal of money on a bet with William..."

At the reserved silence Zelgadis's smile wilted.

"Zelgadis..." Amelia began. "I want you to tell me the truth, and I promise I won't get upset no matter what your answer is, but I need to know, and I need to know the absolute truth." Zelgadis's eyes flitted to Lina, and the sorceress could've sworn she saw fear in his eyes.

"Anything, Amelia," he murmured, taking Amelia's hands into his own.

"Do you love Lina more than me?"

"..."

"Just tell me the truth, Zelgadis, please. I need the truth!"

"... of course I don't, my darling..." Zelgadis swept the trembling girl into his arms and hugged her fiercely. He glared at Lina over Amelia's head. "How could you ever think that?!"

"It's j-just that... L-lina wa-was saying... s-she...y-you..." Amelia blubbered.

"Shh, shh, it's okay..."

Lina stormed out of the room, more furious than she had ever been in her life.

* * *

Lina was furiously shoving all her belongings into her packs when there was a heavy knock on her door.

"Go away, Gourry, I don't want to talk about it!"

"This is not Gourry."

Lina's heart skipped several beats and she nearly fell over as she halted in mid-stride.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you either."

"Lina, if you don't open this door for me, I will open it for myself, and I have every right to do so as this is, or shortly will be, by extension, my house."

"Then do it! Exercise your ill-gotten power! Enter, Prince Zelgadis!" The sarcasm dripped from Lina's voice, acid enough to eat metal. She stood next to the bed where she had lain out her stuff and crossed her arms. She stared at the door as it opened, and Zelgadis entered the room. He closed the door quietly but forcefully behind him.

"So I take it you talked to Amelia," he said, walking along the edge of the spacious room, quite out of Lina's reach.

"Yeah, well, it's a little more complicated than that. How's she doing, by the way? Your fiancée, who you should probably be comforting and helping right now instead of stalking me?" Lina shifted her weight to keep her face to Zelgadis.

"Don't talk that way to me-"

"I can talk however the hell I want! You've totally lost all respect in my eyes. You're beyond reprehensible."

"And aren't you, for doing what you did to Amelia?"

"Okay, first off, that wasn't my doing. Xelloss blabbed everything to her. And secondly don't even THINK that that is any worse than what you're doing to her!"

Puzzlement followed by anger followed by indifference crossed Zelgadis's face.

"How our private conversation got to Xelloss is really not one of my main concerns right now."

"Look, what do you want from me?! And damn it, Zelgadis, stop pacing like that!"

Zelgadis stopped directly across the room from Lina, who had her back to the bed. Silence befell the room. Lina breathed heavily, fighting to gain enough composure to finish the argument. She just wanted to pack her stuff and leave, to get as far the hell away from here as she could.

"Honestly, Lina, I'm not sure of what I want anymore." Zelgadis gazed at the sorceress, a sad smile on his lips. "I don't know if I really want all this power and money and Amelia. I don't know yet if I really want to give it all up."

"But what do you want from ME, Zelgadis? Why did you have to bring me into all this? Do you realize that you have destroyed whatever friendship was left between Amelia and I? And Sylphiel, for that matter?"

"Lina... the only thing I am sure of right now, what I want from you... is simply you."

Lina's temper exploded.

"What the hell did you expect me to do, Zelgadis?! What the hell kind of life do you want me to live?! You want me to live in a dumpy apartment on the other side of the city, be a kept woman, be a mistress, be a companion for you to screw around with on weekends when you can get away from your duties, from your wife?! You can't have everything, Zelgadis!! YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING!"

In the next moment Zelgadis was at her side, his arms grasping hers, his face lowered to hers.

"Then I don't want everything. I just want you," he whispered.

His lips found hers, kissed her gently, and then with more urgency. Lina's reaction was muddled, as her brain froze up and her body responded to being touched. Something released within her, flooding her body with warmth. Part of her screamed that she was doing something wrong, but part of her was exhilarated beyond comprehension. She didn't want to let go. She didn't want him to stop.

She still, inexplicably, loved him, wanted him, craved him.

But...

... it was all wrong...


	5. Part 5

**Title:** Refuse to Dance

**Author:** Yugure

**Rated:** PG-13 for language

**Disclaimer:** Slayers still not mine.

**Author's Notes:** Finale, yo. Zelgadis is still weird. Don't mind him, he's still off his medication... Someone want to get this guy his refill...?

**Part 4**

The grand ballroom was packed with people. It was the biggest celebration before the actual wedding would take place, which would, of course, be even grander and more amazing. The Saillune family held nothing back when it came to throwing fabulous parties.

The orchestra poured music into the crowd, sometimes playing lively pieces for foxtrots, sometimes playing quiet background music as everyone took breaks from dancing for socializing and eating.

Lina hated it. She never really got on well with balls; for one, she hated the dresses, and two, she didn't care for the music. She was used to spirited jigs from a tavern band, not this box stepping and what have you.

She yawned, loudly, and looked for the nearest door. She wanted to leave; leave the party, leave the palace, leave the city. Not only did she not want to be here just in principle, but she knew she wasn't a welcome guest anymore. Amelia had "forgiven" Lina for her "slanderous remarks about Zelgadis", but she had also pulled Lina from the role of Maid of Honor and had not given any role in return. Lina could attend the wedding, just like every other citizen of Saillune, but she was no longer a Very Important Person.

Not that she felt like one anymore, anyway.

Not after that incident in her room, with Zelgadis, from yesterday afternoon.

Lina shut her eyes and tried to steady her racing heart as the memory flooded her senses. She breathed in, slowly, and exhaled, slowly.

Lips, soft lips; calloused hands on her arms, on her shoulders, cradling her head; a firm body against hers; two thudding, pounding hearts –

"Lina, you okay? You don't look so good." Gourry's voice shattered Lina's thoughts and her eyes flew open. Gourry's concerned face peered down at her. "Are you gonna be sick?"

"No, Gourry, I'm fine," Lina replied, irritated that she couldn't keep a grip on her emotions. "I'm just a little aggravated by the crowd. You know me, I hate crowds..."

"Well, there's a door right over there, behind the guy with the big nose and the lady with the funny hat shaped like a chicken..." Gourry pointed the way, and sure enough, a single door was tucked away in the woodwork. "You know, if you want some fresh air or something."

"Thanks Gourry," Lina said, surprised to find she actually meant it. She slipped in between a couple and weaved her way through the crowd. She was almost there when someone stepped up beside her and placed his hand on her arm to halt her progress.

"Cutting out early, are we, Lina?" Zelgadis asked as she turned to him, his eyes searching her face to gauge her mood. Lina held her face carefully blank. She was somewhat relieved to see that, although Zelgadis's words were arrogantly self-assured, his eyes were troubled and fearful of, Lina imagined, rejection.

"This really isn't my kind of scene," she said. "So I'll just be leaving now, if it's all the same." She tried to move onwards, but Zelgadis retained his grip on her arm. She turned fully to face him, her back to the door.

"Please dance with me at least once, Lina. At my request."

"Why should I honor your request?"

"Because Amelia is dancing with Gourry right now, and Sylphiel with someone else, and there's no one else I'd rather dance with than you."

"I'm not going to play this game with you, Zelgadis." Lina stared at him. Her body longed to feel his hands again; her lips, to feel the soft caress. Lina's stomach felt tight and the adrenaline shooting through her made her dizzy. She tugged on her arm to regain possession of it. "I can't dance with you. You know that."

"Yesterday – "

"Yesterday was a mistake and we both know that. We can't do this, Zelgadis. You can't have everything, and I can't give you what you want. Nobody can win in this situation. Nobody's going to."

"I'm sorry it had to turn out this way, Lina. I should have told you I loved you a long time ago." True regret echoed in his words and in his eyes. Lina's heart plummeted.

"Perhaps."

"One last dance?" Zelgadis held out his hand. Lina shook her head, sadly, as tears rolled down her face. She backed away from him and fumbled with the door handle behind her. The door clicked open.

"No. I can't."

"Lina..." Zelgadis took one step forward. Lina slipped one foot over the threshold.

"...I won't..."

"... please..." Zelgadis's face was resigned. He stood still. Lina disappeared into the hallway gloom, her last whispered words haunting the air.

"...I refuse to dance..."

**Fin**


End file.
